100 Things I Learned From Motherhood - #96
Show Your Children Respect
Sometimes when life is busy, it’s easiest to take out your frustration and anger on your kids. You’re in a hurry and you all go load into the van, and if one is exceptionally slow or has forgotten something, you yell and complain about how they are making everyone late. It’s easy to do.
However, it isn’t fair. First, your kids are easy targets. They’re little and you can get away with bullying them. I’ll bet you wouldn’t talk to a neighbor or a guest in your home that way…
Second, kids are young, by definition. They can’t keep up with all the things we keep up with (or try to) and they are bound to make mistakes. Belittling their efforts doesn’t get you to your destination faster, and it creates a small wedge in the relationship with your child. Enough of those wedges and you’ve got a full-blown relationship issue that just may rear it’s ugly head in the teen years (or beyond).
Of course, I know this because I am guilty of it too. It’s very easy to blame my inability to plan enough time when leaving on my 5 year old’s forgetful behavior. However, easy doesn’t equal right.
Showing your children love and respect, even in stressful times is tough. Of course, it’s worth it in the long run. And, I’d warn you that if you are stressed more often than not, then you have probably taken on too much. If you’ll look at my low posting volume some weeks, you’ll see when I have to mentally step back and take a break.
Eternal value. That’s what it all boils down to… No matter what you believe about how you will end your earthly life, we can all agree that whether or not you get to school on time really has no eternal value. The way you treat your kids DOES have lasting value. Granny Jane used to say, when any kids broke something, failed a test, wrecked a car; “That doesn’t have any eternal value.” Her thoughts on this one stuck with me.
I guess this little saying she loved had eternal value too. :)
Tags: General, Growing up, ParentingRelated Stories
POSTED IN: General, Growing up, Mothering, Parenting
4 opinions for 100 Things I Learned From Motherhood - #96
Char
Oct 20, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Robyn - thank you for this very insightful post. I do think that we tend to get wrapped up in the little things that we often forget about the big picture.
My middle child (8) had a friend over today and they asked if they could make roasted potatoes (my dd loves them) and I said sure, just clean up your mess. Her friend said her mother would never have let them do that. The potatoes were delicious, they did it by themselves, and have a great sense of accomplishment to finish out their week.
robyn
Oct 20, 2006 at 10:23 pm
You’ve inspired me to dig out the easy bake oven :)
Lisa
Oct 21, 2006 at 11:28 pm
Great insight, both you and your grandma.
I’m going to have to print this out and put it on the fridge, and the bathroom mirror, and the dash of the car, and on the front and back doors and on each of the kids bedrooms as a reminder of what has eternal value and what doesn’t.
Lisa
robyn
Oct 23, 2006 at 2:39 pm
I probably need to write it on my behind. That cellulite has no eternal value ;)
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