Inside Motherhood

When your presence is the only present required

by Christina on April 18th, 2007

The Kid got invitations to two birthdays this week. He’s in heaven. Since I’m the one who can read, I noticed something: one invitation specifically requested no gifts be brought, while the other one made no mention.

In my neighborhood, the ‘no gifts’ clause is pretty standard fare on birthday invitations. Sometimes we honor the requests; sometimes not. If we have a meaningful present we know our friend will like, we bring it anyway, like the framed photo my mother took of one five year old with his parents. We, ourselves, have gently requested no gifts.

Some parents lament that no gifts removes an opportunity for their child to learn the pleasure of giving. I agree. But what we do to get around that is we’ll make something for the birthday boy or girl. Even if it’s as simple as a drawing (or remember those potholders you could make with loops?)–and one child at the most recent party was made much over for the wonderful drawing he did of himself with his birthday pal–a child learns much more about the pleasure of giving when the gift is something thoughtful, something your child was involved with, than simply handing over some wrapped, plastic thing that Mom or Dad picked out on the way home from work one night.

What do you think? Is there a ‘no gift’ policy in your child’s circle of friends?

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POSTED IN: Mothering